RodeoSchro
Well-Known Member
LANDMAN
January 4, 2025
But it hasn't yet!
My YouTube algorithm is both my best friend and my worst enemy. I bet that's true for pretty much everyone.
On the good side, I get directed to new rock and roll, and also I've watched what seems like 100 4-minute scenes from various seasons of "Justified". They're great! Raylan Givens generally shoots someone, beats up someone, or outsmarts someone in every clip. I've only seen maybe two complete episodes of "Justified" but I don't need to see any more. Good old Al Gorithm gave me the good stuff!
But Mr. Gorithm isn't always right. Case in point - "Landman".
We all know series can jump the shark but that usually happens deep into the series' lifespan. Have you ever seen a series jump the shark in its very first episode?
If you've watched "Landman" then, yes - yes you have!
Good gosh is this thing bad. Maybe it's not that "Landman" jumped the shark so much as its series creator Taylor Sheridan has. You already know how incredibly stupid, bad, idiotic and moronic "Yellowstone" was. Even Sheridan's "Tulsa King" went off the rails this year. But back to "Landman".
It's so bad. The characters are laughable. Look, I'll say this up front - I am no oil man but growing up in an oil refinery town, and living in the Energy Capital of the World, you can't help but interact with people from all parts of the oil industry. From the bottom to the top.
No one on "Landman" bears any resemblance to anyone in the real world as far as I know, and God help us if there ARE people like this out there.
I'll start with Billy Bob Thornton, who is the closest thing to a real human being on this crapfest. Now, I've only watched the first three episodes of this and don't plan on watching any more but who knows? Anyway, Thornton plays a dude who apparently was a speculator or wildcatter and lost it all, and now has to work as a landman because he has $500,000 in debt. First of all, if he had a lot of money and then went broke in the oil industry, he'd owe a LOT more than $500k. Do you know what $500k gets you in the oil industry? Nothing. It gets you nothing. I guess you could be a minority partner in one oil well? If so, then you'd be a nameless, faceless, losing investor, of which there are 43,581 walking around Midland, Texas right now.
But he must have been filthy rich at one point because his ex-wife is clearly a trophy wife who is now married to some actual rich guy, and his kids are clearly rich kids. We'll get to them in a minute but back to BBT. He's a decent guy but has his sarcastic pessimism turned up to 10. And here's something that ought to be a crime, and hell yes I am talking about his incessant smoking. Not just that, though - when called on being a two-pack-a-day smoker, BBT launches into one of his patented I-Know-Everything soliloquies, claiming that in Japan, people smoke like there's no tomorrow and guess what? "Lung cancer ain't even in the top ten causes of death. So it's not the cigarettes that kill you, it's all the sugar and shit". WRONG.
Do you know what the second-leading cause of death among Japanese men is? You get three guesses and the first two don't count and yeah - the answer IS lung cancer. Four out of the top ten causes of death in Japan are various cancers. Thornton says the same thing about China and of course, he's wrong there too. China is responsible for almost HALF of the lung cancer cases and lung cancer deaths in the whole world. The USA is a distant second, and Japan is third. And yeah, I have the receipts:
www.wcrf.org
How in the hell Taylor Sheridan got that "cigarettes don't kill you" BS into a TV show should be a crime. It really should. Kids are gonna smoke because Taylor Sheridan had Billy Bob Thornton tell the world that smoking doesn't kill you.
The ONLY way out of this IMHO is for Billy Bob Thornton's character to die a protracted, painful death from lung cancer and have everyone else on the show say, "See? We told you so!" about one hundred times.
Remember - BBT is the only semi-decent character on this show and he's promoting death. So you can guess how bad the rest of these characters are.
His ex-wife Angela is the worst caricature of a ditzy blonde rich Texan that I've ever seen. Again - I'm met dozens and dozens and dozens of rich oilmen, and their families. I've never come across anyone even remotely as idiotic as BBT's ex-wife. I've never met anyone from any walk of life whatsoever that's as vapid as she's portrayed. "Clueless" doesn't begin to describe her. She is the worst female character you'll ever see and I sure hope that doesn't make you want to tune into this dumpster fire. So trust me - don't watch this, you'll hate yourself for wasting your time if you do. It's as if Taylor Sheridan thought, "There has to be a Guiness World's Record for Most Idiotic Character On A TV Series and by golly, I'm going to set the new record!"
The two kids are morons. The son is a wispy loser who quit college one semester shy of a geology degree because he just can't wait to run an oil company. Hey, moron - do you know how many college drop-outs get hired by oil companies to be executives? The same as the number of Oscars you have on your mantle. All I can do is sigh and shake my head.
But he's the paragon of genius compared to his sister. She's 17 and decorum prevents me from actually quoting her view on her sex life. Put it this way - don't let your kids watch this show. Just don't.
Jon Hamm has only been in a couple scenes so far but I can predict that this is the role he's going to be most embarrassed about when he looks back on his career. I'd ask some of the guys I know who are big oilmen what they think about Hamm's character but I don't want to get laughed out of Houston.
Demi Moore is in this but only so they can show a woman who swims a lot.
If by chance you have read this and for some reason still aren't sold on how bad it is, and just HAVE to watch it, then I can help. Below is the opening scene of Episode 1. It is the ONLY scene worth watching. After that, go watch something else, and let's all hope "Landman" is the worst thing put out all year. I mean, there's nowhere to go but up!
January 4, 2025
But it hasn't yet!
My YouTube algorithm is both my best friend and my worst enemy. I bet that's true for pretty much everyone.
On the good side, I get directed to new rock and roll, and also I've watched what seems like 100 4-minute scenes from various seasons of "Justified". They're great! Raylan Givens generally shoots someone, beats up someone, or outsmarts someone in every clip. I've only seen maybe two complete episodes of "Justified" but I don't need to see any more. Good old Al Gorithm gave me the good stuff!
But Mr. Gorithm isn't always right. Case in point - "Landman".
We all know series can jump the shark but that usually happens deep into the series' lifespan. Have you ever seen a series jump the shark in its very first episode?
If you've watched "Landman" then, yes - yes you have!
Good gosh is this thing bad. Maybe it's not that "Landman" jumped the shark so much as its series creator Taylor Sheridan has. You already know how incredibly stupid, bad, idiotic and moronic "Yellowstone" was. Even Sheridan's "Tulsa King" went off the rails this year. But back to "Landman".
It's so bad. The characters are laughable. Look, I'll say this up front - I am no oil man but growing up in an oil refinery town, and living in the Energy Capital of the World, you can't help but interact with people from all parts of the oil industry. From the bottom to the top.
No one on "Landman" bears any resemblance to anyone in the real world as far as I know, and God help us if there ARE people like this out there.
I'll start with Billy Bob Thornton, who is the closest thing to a real human being on this crapfest. Now, I've only watched the first three episodes of this and don't plan on watching any more but who knows? Anyway, Thornton plays a dude who apparently was a speculator or wildcatter and lost it all, and now has to work as a landman because he has $500,000 in debt. First of all, if he had a lot of money and then went broke in the oil industry, he'd owe a LOT more than $500k. Do you know what $500k gets you in the oil industry? Nothing. It gets you nothing. I guess you could be a minority partner in one oil well? If so, then you'd be a nameless, faceless, losing investor, of which there are 43,581 walking around Midland, Texas right now.
But he must have been filthy rich at one point because his ex-wife is clearly a trophy wife who is now married to some actual rich guy, and his kids are clearly rich kids. We'll get to them in a minute but back to BBT. He's a decent guy but has his sarcastic pessimism turned up to 10. And here's something that ought to be a crime, and hell yes I am talking about his incessant smoking. Not just that, though - when called on being a two-pack-a-day smoker, BBT launches into one of his patented I-Know-Everything soliloquies, claiming that in Japan, people smoke like there's no tomorrow and guess what? "Lung cancer ain't even in the top ten causes of death. So it's not the cigarettes that kill you, it's all the sugar and shit". WRONG.
Do you know what the second-leading cause of death among Japanese men is? You get three guesses and the first two don't count and yeah - the answer IS lung cancer. Four out of the top ten causes of death in Japan are various cancers. Thornton says the same thing about China and of course, he's wrong there too. China is responsible for almost HALF of the lung cancer cases and lung cancer deaths in the whole world. The USA is a distant second, and Japan is third. And yeah, I have the receipts:
Lung cancer statistics | World Cancer Research Fund
The latest statistics on lung cancer rates globally. Lung cancer is the most common cancer worldwide. It is the most common cancer in men and the 2nd most common cancer in women.
www.wcrf.org
How in the hell Taylor Sheridan got that "cigarettes don't kill you" BS into a TV show should be a crime. It really should. Kids are gonna smoke because Taylor Sheridan had Billy Bob Thornton tell the world that smoking doesn't kill you.
The ONLY way out of this IMHO is for Billy Bob Thornton's character to die a protracted, painful death from lung cancer and have everyone else on the show say, "See? We told you so!" about one hundred times.
Remember - BBT is the only semi-decent character on this show and he's promoting death. So you can guess how bad the rest of these characters are.
His ex-wife Angela is the worst caricature of a ditzy blonde rich Texan that I've ever seen. Again - I'm met dozens and dozens and dozens of rich oilmen, and their families. I've never come across anyone even remotely as idiotic as BBT's ex-wife. I've never met anyone from any walk of life whatsoever that's as vapid as she's portrayed. "Clueless" doesn't begin to describe her. She is the worst female character you'll ever see and I sure hope that doesn't make you want to tune into this dumpster fire. So trust me - don't watch this, you'll hate yourself for wasting your time if you do. It's as if Taylor Sheridan thought, "There has to be a Guiness World's Record for Most Idiotic Character On A TV Series and by golly, I'm going to set the new record!"
The two kids are morons. The son is a wispy loser who quit college one semester shy of a geology degree because he just can't wait to run an oil company. Hey, moron - do you know how many college drop-outs get hired by oil companies to be executives? The same as the number of Oscars you have on your mantle. All I can do is sigh and shake my head.
But he's the paragon of genius compared to his sister. She's 17 and decorum prevents me from actually quoting her view on her sex life. Put it this way - don't let your kids watch this show. Just don't.
Jon Hamm has only been in a couple scenes so far but I can predict that this is the role he's going to be most embarrassed about when he looks back on his career. I'd ask some of the guys I know who are big oilmen what they think about Hamm's character but I don't want to get laughed out of Houston.
Demi Moore is in this but only so they can show a woman who swims a lot.
If by chance you have read this and for some reason still aren't sold on how bad it is, and just HAVE to watch it, then I can help. Below is the opening scene of Episode 1. It is the ONLY scene worth watching. After that, go watch something else, and let's all hope "Landman" is the worst thing put out all year. I mean, there's nowhere to go but up!
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